Goals...or something like that

So, apparently before you get started on this whole "exercise" thingy, you have to set "goals."  Which, those goals are generally related to weight loss goals.  Like, I want to lost 20 pounds or 50 pounds or something like that. Or, I want to make sure I look good in that mini-skirt, bikini, or mu-mu or something. 

So when Average Joe trainer said to me on day one: "What are your goals in this training?"  I said, "Sleep, I want you to make me sleep better."

Cue that look up like you are speaking not only a foreign language, but clearly something not of this world  look.

"Alright," I said, "I don't care about losing weight, I don't care about being able to run that 5k run in X amount of time.  I need to sleep better because I am under these mounds of stress.  If you can get me more sleep, we will consider this a success."

"Okay," Average Joe said, "Anything else?"

"Well, I suppose it would be nice to not be so squishy." 
 Reader: remember this statement, it's going to come back to haunt me.

Average Joe then went over diet with me--which isn't so much of a 'diet' its more of a switching things around based on time of day.  Something about not eating sugars and carbs (he separates sugars and crap carbs--from healthy carbs) after the lunch meal.  Lots of fruit all morning long, lots of protein, a lot of veggies in the afternoon.  Seems easy enough, right--it's just a shift after all.  JUST YOU WAIT.

What the eff, no peas or corn?? Are you kidding me?  Alright, maybe I can live with this, but probably not, because there is not much I love more than a big bowl of fruit for dessert.  "But," he says, "The carbs and sugars are gonna screw with your sleep, so don't do it."

Oh, okay.  Yeah.  That's not for getting in shape--its about the sleep.  So, I will be able to work that out then, right?