Seriously, I have spent a lot of time on pinterest of late. It’s super fun, and to me a bit more engaging than Facebook is right now with all its “I’m gonna change again” rules that come out of nowhere.
I’ve also been trying to get motivated to get in shape again. I even go so far as to every once in a while wonder if I should just buy weights for at home since I am now part of the uncounted unemployed ranks in society. It’s cool, I’ve prepped for this time to come – so while it’s austere, it's really not as bad as when I first lost my job.
But when you’re on pinterest, there are a million weight loss tips that really work – and wraps and work out for 30 seconds a day and get buff photos. So, I’ve decided to share my own weight loss tips here today.
1) Pasta. Try not to eat the entire box of pasta yourself. Really – it’s not necessary, and unless you are willing to run the 10 miles it will take to not make that crap turn right into sugar, just portion that crap so you can still enjoy it.
2) Cake. Make it as often as you want – seriously. You just don’t have to eat the whole thing. This is a struggle I have taken a long time to learn myself. But, let’s be honest, it’s all a learning curve.
3) Work out. Even if it’s just breaking a sweat cleaning up after your nasty kids who enjoy leaving stuff under their beds and in their closets. Take the time, don a mask and get on your hands and knees. Don’t putter, really break a sweat cleaning up after boys who can’t aim when using the toilet. Your waist will thank you in a few weeks.
4) It’s okay to walk to the bus stop. Seriously. I’ll even wear last night’s sweat pants so that I look serious about working out once all the kids are off to school. Though we all know I will run out of coffee at the bus stop and be all – well one more cup can’t hurt….oh, look something shiny. Fake it ‘til you make it, yo.
5) Walk with the kids – all in the name of making them tired. Sure, your glutes will hurt for the first few days, you will probably be taking advil® pm like it’s jelly-beans, and you’ll wonder where all those yoga pants in your closet came from. But, the kids may sleep and your bum could seriously look ten years younger – when you’ve got a butt problem like mine, it’s better than any sleep you could possibly get from the equation.
6) Find an adventure to go on. For us, last summer, it was picking berries. We always had the full intention of making jam or making cobbler – but when we’d get home, we’d have some vitamin D and five berries. Totally worth it.
7) Visit your farmers market. There is nothing more conducive to wanting to be in shape than seeing all that fresh produce. The whining from making the wee ones walk with you is just an added bonus.
8) Walk yourself to get your own coffee/breakfast/newspaper in the morning. Seriously, I have not perfected this one myself and once the alarm goes off on my phone it is closely followed by a loud, booming “insert kids name here” echoing throughout the house. I note however, that that kid is thin.
9) When it’s raining, go ahead and walk around the mall. I chose the biggest mall I can find – with three stories and two full “isles” loaded with stores. I know I’ve done my job when I leave with tea, godiva and my calves hurt.
10) Get in some damn liquid. Seriously – this should be a no brainer. Make sure you take in a lot of water. Nothing makes you feel thinner more instantaneously than drinking your full complement of water a day. I mean it – I often feel like I’ve lost about ten pounds and my belly is nearly flat again when I counteract the amount of coffee I drink on a daily basis with water. Or Passion Tea Lemonade. Or fizzy lemonade found at my local grocery outlet. Or, well, water again because that other stuff gets pricy.
There you have it – Maggie’s weight loss ideas. Really it’s not about depriving yourself – it’s about being willing to work off the crap you shouldn’t be eating if you want to lose weight. And my number one tip – don’t bother owning a scale. Really – is it about that number or about how your jeans fit – or if you HAVE to wear Spanx® with every outfit?