So, you know those little half balance ball thingies? They are actually called "Bosu Balls," and yeah, I had to google "half balance ball" to try to get the real name. Well, Average Joe trainer, in his infinite wisdom decides he needs to find out how good my balance is, using one of these crazy contraptions.
Yeah, I can trip and fall flat on my face on flat, stable surfaces. I have slipped and fell for no reason at all and regularly wake up with bruises I can't figure out where they came from. So, umm, yeah, are you sure, Average Joe?
He shows me how to get on, because there is a trick when you are using the ball portion as the floor and the stable portion to put your feet on. I slip my feet the way he says, get up on the ball and...THUD.
Yeah twisted myself around, fell all over the place, and was flat on my back after a mere 1.2 seconds on the Bosu Ball. Fan freakin' tastic.
In his overwhelming sympathetic response, Average Joe says, "Don't worry, we only caught that on closed circuit security cameras, so when we play it back this afternoon, in and endless loop, we won't hear the thud."
Awesome. That's why they chose Average Joe for me, I suppose.
So, I get back on the ball and he proceeds to make me do endless squats, "testing my balance" he says. Then its inverted leg lifts or something, where you hang off the end of a perfectly good (for sitting) chair and lift your legs to your chest...all while maintaining "Captain Morgan" posture. Meanwhile he is quizzing me on hip-flexors, and stuff like what muscles I should be using.
The rest of the leg workout is kind of a blur--I just remember being terrified of falling off the balance balls again. Then when we finished, I felt pretty good. 1 hour down. Whoo-hoo!! I made it!
"Now get on the elliptical for 45 minutes." Average Joe adds.
Excuse, where is my excuse, I have to have an excuse here somewhere.