Back Down

This pic has nothing to do with my post but it makes me happy.

Tuesday last week I had a crown put on that required a lot of novocaine and apparently the spot on my gums that I had damaged with a pointy french fry (exactly why I NEVER used to eat the pointy ones at McD's when I was a teenager) got irritated from all the frigging around the dentist did.  When the novocaine wore off I wanted to die.  I had to go lay down in my bed and sleep the pain off it was that bad.  All day long I was in pain in my mouth.

The next morning I woke up and had no pain in my mouth.  I was so happy!  But then I started to get out of bed and BAM my back went out.  The pain in my mouth had caused me to tense up so badly that my pre-existing musculo-skeletal imbalance flared up.  Last time it happened this bad was in 2004 and I got pregnant with my 2nd child because all I could do was lay on my back for two weeks.......

Thankfully pregnancy is not going to happen this time!  But on Thursday the pain had not gotten any better so I made an appointment with my doctor's office.  Unfortunately I did not get my regular doctor who is young and agreeable.  I got an older woman who has been there a long time.  I had to bring my two younger kids with me as I didn't know how long the appointment would last and didn't want to leave them with the oldest for too long.

If you are wondering, yes I have gone to a chiropractor many many times.  They can fix it for a few days but then it comes back.  I really want to find out what can be done long term.  And get some muscle relaxers so I could sleep that night.  First the doctor asked me about 10,000 questions to rule out spinal cord injury.  Apparently she didn't hear me when I said that it happens all the time and I just need a prescription.  As the girls began causing ruckus after the first 20 min of questioning (we had also just spent 35 min waiting for the appt to begin as they were running late) she finally seemed to listen to me.
"Please, I just need some Flexeril.  I have had it before for this same problem and it helped."
"So, yes, I think that would probably be the best thing then.  Some Flexeril. OK.  But I want you to take Advil for the pain."
"But Ma'am, Advil does NOTHING for me.  I took some yesterday and it just doesn't work.  I have a prescription for Vicodin that I need renewed..."
"Oh, well, I don't like to give narcotics to women with young children." She says.  WTF.  OK, so apparently she failed to note that I have had a script for it for the past 2 years to take for pains that advil does not help and that I have never abused it or tried to get any for any reason other than pain. WHATEVER.  THANKS JUNKIES.

I didn't feel like arguing due to the intense pain and kids screaming and running around so I took the script for the Flexeril and left feeling about the same as I usually do at this doctor practice:  annoyed and unheard.  Now yes, I am an arrogant, egotistical, stubborn person.  I know that about myself.  But why is it that most of the time when I go to the doctor I already know what I need, the doctor doesn't listen to me, yet comes to the same conclusion that I already had and then pretends they thought of it?  Am I just nuts or what?  Oh well.

So, long story long, what ultimately worked was Flexeril to help me sleep, heating pad for an hour while watching Criminal Minds, and then after 2 days of that I started using the elliptical BACKWARDS ONLY for an hour each night, then heating pad for an hour watching CSI.  Today, exactly a week later, I woke up and my back didn't hurt at all.  Well, until I picked up the laundry basket for the first time in a week.  I won't do that again!!

<3 Betsy

The Merits of Pain Relief Cream

I am not an old woman.  At least that's what I tell myself each morning as I slather 30 dollar "proven to fight age" cream on my face, around the eyes, under the chin, between the eyes where the age and kid furrowed brow develops.

I am also not that badly out of shape.  I mean I still have a shape after all, right?  That what I tell myself as I grease my butt to get the jeans on shortly after slathering my face with stuff that promises I will be forever 21.  The jeans do the same, until they rip in the nether-regions, that is.

So imagine my surprise, when, after just a few hours post work-out, I find myself gripping the sides of the bathroom counter along with the tub basin to ease myself into sitting on the "throne."   The ease is not really the word, although I did try to take it gracefully in stride.  Finally I just got to the point that I was gripping, screaming, and plopping down simultaneously--with my kids in the other room wondering if their mother is, in fact, having a stroke

So there I am, stuck, right next to my medicine cabinet, where  I find a tube of "pain relieving cream," which I got for free from couponing.  YEAH ME!!!

Directions: "Rub on area where you feel pain, but do not use on your eyes."  Okay, I can so do that, and what do you know my pants are already down around the ankles.  Just kidding, but easily remedied.

So I proceed to rub it on my thighs, my legs, my knees, and other areas "where I feel pain."

They should warn you not to rub it on your butt.  Nothing like a frozen to the bone butt that's still in pain--when you still may have to pee during the 8 hours of" muscle therapy," which the product says it provides.  It does not, closer to four hours of frozen butt for me.

The next morning, I apparently limp into the gym, and Average Joe is waiting for me at the door. 

"Walking a little gingerly, eh, Maggie-may."  I should have known at this moment that would become my name when inside the confines of the gym.

"Well, yeah, did you know there are muscles under your butt cheeks?"

"Oh, Maggie, yours are anything but cheeks.  'Cheek' denotes something cute, quaint."

Nice. Simply wonderful.  Lemme just push through this sadistic 45 minutes on the elliptical.
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